Dark Shadows: It's Actually Dark

Last Friday night I was in need of some relaxation, so I went to movie theater to see "Dark Shadows," the newest collaboration between Tim Burton and Johnny Depp. The movie is actually based on the "Dark Shadows" TV series, which ran from 1966-1971. I hear you can still see re-runs on Sy-Fy and Chiller. The TV show was "scary." I say this because most of what came out of the horror genre in the 1960s is fairly laughable these days. "The Exorcist" came out in 1973, which I feel helped repair that genre's credibility (which then was later destroyed again with all five "Saw" movies).

Back to the Johnny Depp-Tim Burton connection. This is the right movie that the two men have collaborated on. I think the best quote I found to describe their relationship was when Burton said, "It's very nice to have someone that you can have a completely abstract conversation with and leave the room, feel like everything's fine, and then realize that if you pick it apart, you have absolutely no idea what either of you said." I translate this to basically mean they get stoned together and come up with crazy shit. The movies that they've collaborated on include gems, like "Edward Scissorhands" and "Ed Wood." This list also includes some questionable tastes, including "Sleepy Hallow" and "Corpse Bride." "Dark Shadows" actually ended up reminding me of their movie "Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street." And this is the perfect segue into my actual review.

The previews of the movies was light and funny, which the strangeness of Burton worked in. It's even classified as a comedy. While there were humorous parts, the majority of them are in the previews. Perhaps they called this a comedy based on the utter absurdness of the plot? Depp plays Baranbas Collins, a man turned vampire by a witch he slighted (there is nothing like a woman scorned) who then imprisons him in a coffin until he escapes and finds himself in 1972. Collins then goes to find his ancestors, which he finds in disarray and on the verge of poverty. He also comes across the witch who has made herself immortal so she can continue to destroy the Collins family (talk about a grudge). The witch is played by the fabulous Eva Green, who's magnetic on screen and dominates her scenes. I think I have a girl crush. Michelle Pfeiffer and Johnny Lee Miller prove they haven't lost their acting chops by playing the remaining Collins family. They each have a kid. The tween girl is played by Chloe Grace Moretz (who is the awesome young girl from "Kick Ass") and is pretty funny. Helen Bonham Carter play the family psychiatrist because she's married to Burton and good at being weird. Depp was underwhelming. It feels like he's started to play the same role in every movie, which may be similar to his real personality. At least there's a quality cameo by Alice Cooper (who is referred to as an ugly woman). And the movie had some super dark parts that were just kind of breezed over. For example, Baranbus does a fair amount of killing people, including innocent construction workers and a nice group of helpless hippies. And there's a very May-December romances that happens, which grosses me out in the same way as when I read "Jane Eyre" at age 13. I say wait for rental on this one. And don't invite small children to watch it with you.