In-Flight Movies

I've been traveling a lot recently, which gives me some time to engage in a habit I fully enjoy but don't understand: my need to watch awesomely awful movies on tiny in-flight TVs. I order a ginger ale (which I also only drink when I'm flying), open up a mini-bag of nuts and prepare to laugh (and also frighten the person sitting next to me).

The first movie I watched, "In Time," was disappointingly not that bad. This 2011 flick stars Justin Timberlake and Amanda Seyfried, who live in a future society where people stop aging when they turn 25. Sounds great right? Unfortunately for them, once they turn 25, a glowing green clock on their arm starting ticking down and when it hits 0 they die instantaneously. There's no currency in this society, so in place of money people earn or lose time. Due to the disparity of wealth in between time zones, this means that the rich lives forever and the poor lead short lives. I think there's a cultural-political statement not so hidden in all of this. And I have to admit, I am constant impressed by J.T.'s acting, which I was not expecting.

The next movie I saw did meet my awesomely bad expectations. This small screen travesty was "Tower Heist," starring Ben Stiller, Matthew Broderick and Eddie Murphy. My favorite actor in this was actually the supporting Casey Affleck, achieving the perfect balance of neurotic and and quirky. And I don't know why the Oscar nominated lead actress from "Precious" agree to play a crazed maid in this movie. The plot centered around the penthouse financial whiz scamming all his clients out of their money, including the pension fund of the employees of his building. Stiller's character finds out from a federal agent (who would have totally lost her job for this) that the FBI thinks he has the money stashed somewhere in the penthouse. Stiller enlists the help of his not-so-bright brother (Affleck), broke building evictee (Broderick) and neighborhood conman (Murphy) to break into the penthouse and get everyone's money back. The plot was predictable and overrun with stereotypes, the acting was subpar and I bet you this will be making late night Cable reruns in no time. Glorious.

The last in-flight movie I saw was "Real Steel," starring Hugh Jackman and a bunch of Transformer looking robots. In the future, human boxing lost fans as it wasn't violent enough for fans to stay interested, so the new form of boxing is robot vs. robot in a fight to the "death." It was sooooo bad that it was funny. It looks like they ran out of their production budget so they reused the same bots that were in the Transformer movies. Hugh Jackman plays an ex-boxer turned robot fighter, who's down on his luck and deep in debt with the bookies. Then he finds out that the mother of his child who he walked away from 10 years ago died, leaving him to take care of their son. Seriously, at the end where there's this inspirational father-son bonding, dream-achieving, role model fulfilling moment that's probably meant to evoke tears, I just had to laugh. Oh Hugh Jackman, you're too good for this!

Outside of the in-flight movies, I watched "The Accidental Husband" (starring Uma Thurman, Colin Firth and Jeffery Dean Morgan), thinking it would just be a fluffy rom-com that I could fall asleep to. Also, I have a deep love for Firth (BBC miniseries/Mr Darcy obsession and who didn't want him to win out in Bridget Jones' Diary). The crazy thing was that Morgan was actually much more likeable and attractive in this movie (maybe it was the firefighting gear). Even though the plot was predictable, there was no falling asleep during this. I also saw "Twilight: Breaking Dawn Part 1." I have a deep loathing for the whole Twilight franchise but I feel like I need to watch them for cultural relevancy. Kristen Stewart is an absolutely unskilled actress. Bella Swan is the worst "heroine" ever written and I hope young girls aren't making her a role model. In the brilliant words of Stephen King, "Harry Potter is about confronting fears, finding inner strength and doing what is right in the face of adversity. Twilight is about how important it is to have a boyfriend."